⭐So my time as Team Leader has come to an end! ⭐

What am I going to do now? The answer is simple. Helping an obscene amount of buyers and sellers with their property transactions as an agent with Keller Williams Edge. I am not leaving the office, I am happily keeping my business here because I believe in the models for my business and my clients. The best part? I'm OBSESSED about my career again. I really really enjoyed the role of the last 2 and a half years but missed being part of the sales process. So I'm going to do what I love, where I love, with the people I love.

I am humbled and blessed with my path at Edge, it has changed my life. I could not imagine the day I walked in with 29 agents that this path would be filled with so much growth, learning, being stretched, getting comfortable being uncomfortable, and with a mentor that would pour so much into me. Thank you Riaan van Deventer for stretching me, believing in me, supporting me, and guiding me through this role. It has been one incredible journey. I have gained so much, learned so much about business, people, personal development, and leadership. Things money can’t buy and no one can ever take away from. It is not what you get at KW, it is what you become and my path is one of gratitude.

The experience of being part of this Incredible Leadership team and the ALC members over this time will forever stay with me. Thank you for all the huddles, the accountability sessions, the disagreements, and sometimes just the great conversations we had. I've gained so much from all of you and thank you for sharing your journey. I wish you all the success with your future Leadership at KW Edge. Thank you to each and every sales associate that has crossed my path at Edge, I was lucky to share this experience with you and could not have come to where I am today without your endless support. I am so excited to step back into the market with you, I hope you are ready to do some deals together?

Then to my righthand Tanya Dreyer, without you, I don't know how I would have survived. Your friendliness, accountability, and loyalty is something that you just don't often get any more from colleagues. You are an asset to any business! I salute you!

So with that being said, who do you know that needs to sell a house, buy a home, or invest in real estate, that I should be helping???

Awareness week..

This week has been intense. Day 68 of lockdown. It has been 68 intense days. 5 intense months. 

So much awareness. I started Reading Johan Maxwell’s “No Limits” with my leadership team.  Chapter one is all about awareness. Awareness+Ability+Choices=Capacity. It all starts with awareness, and it made me realize it’s simple but not easy. Most people are just living to survive, not to thrive. Physically when we feel we cant anymore we have only reached 40% of our capacity. “Life is all about staying out of your comfort zone.. If you don’t challenge yourself, you don’t know yourself”.  Being aware is not easy, I feel like I really have to challenge myself to be aware. Of course you are aware of the obvious things you know in your life you want to change or do better. But what are your blind spots, those things that you not aware off that you need to change. The challenge is finding them. I loved his story about how they train big asian elephants. FRom when they are babies they are tied to a pole with a chain. When they are little that chain is strong enough to hold them back. As they get bigger that same chain is not strong enough to keep them from breaking away anymore, but they have grown up in the limitations of the chain knowing it holds them back and then it keeps doing that. So what are the limitations you are not even aware off that have been unknowingly placed upon you up until now? The challenge is finding those chains in your life and having the ability to break them, choosing to break them. Getting comfortable being uncomfortable. 

This pandemic has forced the world out of their comfort zone. It has forced the world into awareness. It brings me back to this text I received earlier this week. “ Ya one thing this lock down has taught me is life is actually simple, we don’t actually need a new dress, or a crowd of people, we don’t need the “right things”, all we need is the “right now”, I think if anyone is not affected by the way life has come to a stand still then they were not even moving to start with, and if they realized in this time that their lives were not going any where then I hope this lock down has inspired them to move...“

Are you inspired to move? Have you become aware of how little we actually need? What your abilities are out of your comfort zone and what your capacity can be. Do you choose to try and reach that capacity? Or are you just surviving. This pandemic to me has brought such grace into the world. People have been forced to stop, to pause. What gets me is how we default to complaining about our challenges, thats the mindset we have. What we don’t have, what is hard, what is not possible. We focus on the things we can not change instead of embracing them. It is finding the balance between being pessimistic, optimistic and realistic. Yes I am optimistic, I see the opportunity. Because you choose your reality. What you complain about Today take for granted as a given can change in an instant. Stop, pause, become aware of the world around you, the struggles, the challenges, the opportunities. What you see depends mainly on what you look for. I hope that this awareness of how much we have to be grateful for, how little we need, and the grace we have had towards one another will last.  

It all starts with awareness. So when this is over, are you going to go back to the same you that you were 68 days ago? Or did you grow? Did you become aware? Are you adding your ability and the right choices to this equasion so you can reach a new capacity? 

It happens daily not in a day..

“Ah thank you! Ya one thing this lock down has taught me is life is actually simple, we don’t actually need a new dress, or a crowd of people, we don’t need the “right things”, all we need is the “right now”, I think if anyone is not affected by the way life has come to a stand still then they were not even moving to start with, and if they realised in this time that their lives were not going any where then I hope this lock down has inspired them to move... 

You have however taught me in a short space in time, to absolutely treasure each moment. The good moments, the absolutely terrible moments, even moments when I feel like crying, cause when I cry, I realise there is pain too. - I felt so down yesterday and just wanted to cry, then I read your messages and realise in all moments in life it doesn’t matter where you are, there is someone close to you, down, hurt, crying and trying to stay strong, so we cry together. Do know this Maryke, your pain is not alone, although I did not loose my baby, when I look at my baby, I feel your hurt, when I get another moment, my heart bleeds for you, and that will never leave me. I am very touched by your loss. And I will always share a small piece of your pain. I think about your boys, your home, your loss, it’s so real to me daily as it is for you. - I gather that although you feel alone and that no one can feel your pain, that you need to know, we can’t feel it no, but that YOU are not alone.”

This was a reply to a simple heartfelt happy birthday message to a friends yesterday. 

Knowing we are not alone just makes it more okay. Knowing people care. I have grown so close to unexpected people in the past few months. I can get very heartfelt about how I feel about this, but its not the space I am right now or want to go to. 

Its 7am. I just finished reading Chapter 8 of the 5am club. I am feeling inspired, and like my purpose on this earth is to inspire others and to make a meaningful difference.  Changing the world can mean making a meaningful difference in the life of but one person. If I do that today it is a good day. 

The Void...

The void thats where all the love is supposed to go. The void that fills the extra space in our big bath, the extra chair that now stands bare. Next to my breast, next to my chest where your little body is supposed to lie, comfort and snooze. The void when I think I hear your cries. The void where the pink and purple lego is supposed to go. We were so excited about the pink and the dolls that will fill our house. Instead there is just a void, with all the firsts we were supposed to have. First tooth, that never came out. First steps you never took. In just over a month you should be one, I am dreading that day. How do you fill the void of what is supposed to be your first birthday. When I look at Finn and his long knotted hair, I brush and think of the void thats where the ponytails are supposed to go. Bright yellow ribbons tied around spekkies meet me wherever I go. They remind so many to cherish their moments, to give extra hugs. They allow you to share the pain of the void I have that will never go away. When I look into my husbands eyes and see his pain, his void, the void for a little girl he was supposed to hug and hold and protect, just makes my void deeper. What do you do with this void, this void thats left where all the love is supposed to go? I don't know. 

I feel guilty, all I ever wanted is a big family. We were done, done after 2, done when we had the 2 boys, and then there was you. Everything we never knew we needed. We needed you and then there were two. Two was always enough until we had you. Now I feel guilty because I don't just want two, I want more. I want more love, I don't want to replace you that we can never and will never do. Because right here right now there was supposed to be you, nothing that I have nothing that I can do will bring another you. But I do want more, I want 3, I want you... Is it wrong to yearn everyday that you will pick out another sibling to walk with us the way? I know the chances are 2000 to one. Is it wrong to pray that our family will be that one. Wrong to wish we could reverse, and add to our family another little verse? Another little giggle to bless our house, another little soul to share with our house. The void is there it will never go away, nothing there is will fill it in any way. But I want more love, I want another soul, I want another little boy or another little girl. This guilt and regret just makes the void deeper, the 2 little smiles that we have makes the hill feel a little less steeper. I feel guilty because 2 will never feel like enough. These 2 boys are enough and I feel blessed and grateful each day, but I still want more, I want another soul to be with me a peacekeeper. I try and try and dig deeper, there is no end to this void of pain that swallows and sucks me in each day. Is it okay to wish for more love in our house? By that I don't mean or think for one second that what we have is not enough, I would never recon. I just want a bigger family, more smiles more laughter more of this grace that blesses my days. This family is so spacial so rare, so strong and in pain so bare. Where is all this love supposed to go, this love that wants to plate your hair so fair, wipe your tears, comfort your fears.. All I have is this void, this void full of love that has nowhere to go. 

So here is the thing...

I used to write a journal daily. I then had a blog that my  “Then family” loved. Yes then family.. More on that later.. But then life happened and I abandoned that part of me that loves to write that finds comfort in putting my thoughts down.. An I realised that it’s something I need to start doing again. Instagram doesn’t have enough space to say everything I feel I need to get out.. 

So this is where I am .I need to start somewhere, all I know is that I have a lot that needs to get out and written down. Just for me or for the world I don’t know but what I do know is that I need to start somewhere. So where so I start.. 

How about today... The word of today would just be uncertainty... We are in the middle of the COVID 19 Pandemic. 58 days in lockdown. I was home for 2 and a half months after losing our baby girl. Went back to work for 2 weeks and then LOCKDOWN. What a crazy time and course of events. I have been fine most of the time, not too frustrated with the situation, taking in my stride what I thought would be. Temporary 50% pay cat. Last week Thursday we started with retrenchments. And Friday night I crashed. I crashed and just sat outside in the dark under a tree and cried and cried.  I just cried for everything and everyone. My best friend in Ireland phoned me, at a get together - the 1st one since their lockdown started as they are now allowed gatherings with 4 adults within a 5km radius of their home. Because thats what sane countries do who have law abiding citizens. We only allowed to go out for essentials however people are having braai’s and driving around after 8pm and going to the office. If you not part of the law braking your CEO asks you now whats wrong with you why are you not at the office. I straight out told him, because I am obeying the law and I don’t get South African culture that praises breaking the law and treats you like you are weird when you actually listen, I don’t know about you but I can’t afford a criminal record. 

So Friday night. My friend knows me so well, we continent’s apart and she just knew she had to step out of her 1st social gathering in weeks and call me. To remind me I am not alone, to remind me I make a difference in this world and give me her best heartfelt advice. Se has lived in multiple countries over the past 10 year being married to a pilot. They have finally put happy growing routs down in Ireland. She told me, friend don’t live your life in limbo because you waiting for the next season to start. Do what you need to do as what what you planning to do might take longer and you can achieve a loot in a few months. I put my life and my projects on old for too long too many times because we were always moving to a new country. Don’t pause your life live it. 

So that is what I am planning to do today, I want to live like there are no big changes about to happen. Even when the ones on the horizon are huge and life changing. She is right. I have achieved great things in a few months and I know with the right mindset and determination I can do that. 

So let’s make today great, let’s focus on the difference that can be made. On the orbit that can change on the excitement of new ventures. On starting over no matter how long that chapter will be, it can change lives. 

Today I am committing to not living in limbo. To my morning routine that has found a new rhythm, to the changes I can make even if temporary. I am committing to making the best of the uncertainty. Wiping off my tears and giving it my all. 

We all doing the best we can with what we have at any given time. 

I am committing to making today great. 

Dictinory..

Why is it that when you don't know how to spell a word your mom always said "look it up in the dictionary".  How do you find it there if you dont know how to spell it?

2010, and thats all there is to it...

So the year has kicked of with a bang, all the new years resolutions and little plans everyone was so excited about in January has been long forgotten.  Hence the reason I don't believe in new yeas resolutions... You only set yourself up for disappointment... Your motivation and need for new things should happen throughout the year... You cant expect yourself to just change it all overnight.  Its impossible to say in January you going to go to the gym everyday, quit smoking, drink less go on a diet be more motivated and whatever else it is you have on that endless list... One at a time!

Last year started with way too much anticipation, 2000 and mine, wine, dine, fine... All the excitement just to realize that it is going to be one of the longest and not the greatest years... On the flip side at least we know 2010 cant be that bad, come on!

So no 20 men zen or whatever it is this year... This year has no expectations allowing for no great disappointments.

But that does not mean we have to do nothing... What I would like to do and no don't laugh, is sowing classes, yes like in the olden days when people still mended their own clothes and made a dress here and there.  Come on it can't be rocket science.  So mommy gave me grandma's old sowing machine, what a wonder I am quite excited as it is a state of the art well looked after piece of equipment.

Now just to find the time to stop by moms with that big bag of clothed that has been lying in my house for who knows how long waiting to be mended... More to follow soon...

I will keep you updated on the progress, I already have a little interesting garment in mind that I would like to sow together, I am quite excited about getting my hands dirty so lets see how it goes.

Medium-Rare...

Medium-Rare,


Well from next week things will be a bit more stable I hope.


I am having such a medium-rare day, it was a good day. You know one of those where you actually have a good day, I mean I only smoked 2 cigarettes the entire day. It was a good day.


Then you get home, electricity bill opened..
 Pause


....more than twice the bill from last month. Okay breathe. We having a good day


Pause


I am looking for a flatmate if you are interested, ASAP ( partly to share my new increased electricity bill!!)


and I really need people who are looking for IT jobs. Send me your CV, Seriously!


You have my contact details if you are interested in any of the above.


Coffee with sour cream, there was no milk and I thought the cream was fine. A 1 litre milk kinda goes sour quickly when you share it with yourself. The perks of living alone. I should just start eating cereal for breakfast.


Medium rare indeed, good day that's was kinda crappy, but at the end of the day it is okay because medium rare can still be tasty, although not preferred.


Over and out...

We're experiencing technical difficulties that may prevent your chats from being sent.

Seriously these words have been the definition of my life the last couple of weeks!!  Since working in IT everything seems to be a technical difficulty!

Thus this will only be a short one, if my conection lasts.  Added if my patience last because my keybord keeps skipping ever other letter, reslulting in typing and eddiditng taking up 2ice the time it is supposed to!

So the Centurion branch is well, diffent... I am positive it has only been the 1st day but I know I am gonna love it... Had my first CV referral with a client today.. It went well but no interviews... :(

On a diffrent note, love you for all the support!!!  Please keep clicking on the ads I seriously want to go watch THE KILLERS in Paarl in December!!!  I promise I will fix up my blog, who knows what happened with that title photo!!  But 1st I have to stop myself from throwing this laptop over the wall and killing the neighbours cat. 

If any letters are missing and reading this proves to be difficult, blame HP!!!

Ciao Ciao