I used to write a journal daily. I then had a blog that my “Then family” loved. Yes then family.. More on that later.. But then life happened and I abandoned that part of me that loves to write that finds comfort in putting my thoughts down.. An I realised that it’s something I need to start doing again. Instagram doesn’t have enough space to say everything I feel I need to get out..
So this is where I am .I need to start somewhere, all I know is that I have a lot that needs to get out and written down. Just for me or for the world I don’t know but what I do know is that I need to start somewhere. So where so I start..
How about today... The word of today would just be uncertainty... We are in the middle of the COVID 19 Pandemic. 58 days in lockdown. I was home for 2 and a half months after losing our baby girl. Went back to work for 2 weeks and then LOCKDOWN. What a crazy time and course of events. I have been fine most of the time, not too frustrated with the situation, taking in my stride what I thought would be. Temporary 50% pay cat. Last week Thursday we started with retrenchments. And Friday night I crashed. I crashed and just sat outside in the dark under a tree and cried and cried. I just cried for everything and everyone. My best friend in Ireland phoned me, at a get together - the 1st one since their lockdown started as they are now allowed gatherings with 4 adults within a 5km radius of their home. Because thats what sane countries do who have law abiding citizens. We only allowed to go out for essentials however people are having braai’s and driving around after 8pm and going to the office. If you not part of the law braking your CEO asks you now whats wrong with you why are you not at the office. I straight out told him, because I am obeying the law and I don’t get South African culture that praises breaking the law and treats you like you are weird when you actually listen, I don’t know about you but I can’t afford a criminal record.
So Friday night. My friend knows me so well, we continent’s apart and she just knew she had to step out of her 1st social gathering in weeks and call me. To remind me I am not alone, to remind me I make a difference in this world and give me her best heartfelt advice. Se has lived in multiple countries over the past 10 year being married to a pilot. They have finally put happy growing routs down in Ireland. She told me, friend don’t live your life in limbo because you waiting for the next season to start. Do what you need to do as what what you planning to do might take longer and you can achieve a loot in a few months. I put my life and my projects on old for too long too many times because we were always moving to a new country. Don’t pause your life live it.
So that is what I am planning to do today, I want to live like there are no big changes about to happen. Even when the ones on the horizon are huge and life changing. She is right. I have achieved great things in a few months and I know with the right mindset and determination I can do that.
So let’s make today great, let’s focus on the difference that can be made. On the orbit that can change on the excitement of new ventures. On starting over no matter how long that chapter will be, it can change lives.
Today I am committing to not living in limbo. To my morning routine that has found a new rhythm, to the changes I can make even if temporary. I am committing to making the best of the uncertainty. Wiping off my tears and giving it my all.
We all doing the best we can with what we have at any given time.
I am committing to making today great.
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